:: sweettalk ::

:: Sunday, March 16, 2003 ::

God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy Will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy Will always.

Oh, that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would always be with me, and that You would keep me from evil.

Thank You for keeping me sober today. Amen.

I am very sleepy this morning. I stayed up way too late once again this week. A very friendly bodybuilder from San Francisco paged me on gay.com, and we chatted until almost 3. He was so nice and smart, too. I would liked to have curled up against him last night. But alas, the laws of physics once again kept us apart.

I did make my pic public on my profile again. I was hesitant to do this because a) I still have my Hermey the Elf hairdo in it, b) even though I still look pretty much the same, it's such an old pic that I fear that the Federal Trade Commission will show up at my door for violation of the truth-in-advertising laws, and, probably most importantly c) I've disclosed my HIV status in my profile. I don't know why that still concerns me so much, because I know that's going to remain for the rest of my life. Nevertheless, in an attempt to live a more rigorously honest and open life, I've now fully disclosed myself to the entire gay.com world. Perhaps this week, I'll try to take a new pic so that I can at least remove concerns a) and b).

Anyway, I went to bed around 3:30, read a little more of
Tender Is the Night, and then fell asleep.

Mom called at about 8:30 this morning. She's coming over around 2 or 2:30 to help me clean today. My dominant alcoholic gene definitely must supercede my recessive gay gene when it comes to housecleaning. I've lived in such a state of disarray for over three years. A couple of weeks ago, my sponsor Dan and my sister David G came over and helped me get rid of a bunch of crap. I was at how much we accomplished in under 12 man-hours. Not since I moved into this four-plex in November 1996 have I been able to see all my floors. I was beginning to fear that I was going to end up as one of those little old men who lives amongst stacks of newspapers and mail and has 9 cats. Now, it looks great! Nevertheless, there still some residue and grime to remove. That's why Mom's coming over to help today. I better get busy and depornify the house before she comes so that she doesn't happen across something. There's not much, but I'll perform a safety-check.

Anyway, that's all for now. Tucker didn't call yesterday so I assume that he either hasn't yet received my card, or that he has received it, read it, was scared off, and will never call again. Of course, I assume the latter, but hope springs eternal.

:: Kyle 8:39 AM 0 comments
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