:: sweettalk ::

:: Monday, March 17, 2003 ::

God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy Will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy Will always.

Oh, that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would always be with me, and that You would keep me from evil.

Thank You for keeping me sober today. Amen.

Ah, another workday. I'm sitting here blogging a second time since the first didn't go through, drinking coffee, smoking a cigarette, and listening to Norah Jones. I love her voice and her music, and I'm glad she received the recongnition she deserved at the Grammy's. I first heard her last summer while I was at the Claritas conference in San Diego. I logged onto her website when I returned home and wrote her an email saying how much I loved her music and that I hoped she'd come to Dallas soon. Little did I know at the time that she grew up here and attended the Arts Magnet.

Last night after Mom left, I logged on to check email and ended up going into gay.com to chat and check things out. I entered the POZ room as well as the Dallas room, and I ended up paging another HIV+ guy whom I saw was also from Dallas. We had a very nice chat, and he said that he'd like to swing by to say hello. So, I invited him over. What a change! I cannot remember what year it was when I last invited someone over; it must have been at least four or five years ago. He swung by, we talked a bit, then we went and got nekked in the bedroom. It was very nice and comfortable not so hot and heavy. I'm sure I'll see him again. I don't see it leading to anything permanent, and that's fine by me right now. Baby steps. Baby steps.

After he left shortly before 9, I answered one of the many collect calls I had been receiving yesterday from Tyrone in the "monkey cage" at the Dallas County Detention Center. When he called the first time last year, I assumed he was one of the inmates from the tank to which I regularly take AA meetings and had been transferred or something, so I went down to visit him in this antiquated jail on top of the George Allen Building downtown. In order to talk to him, I had to listen on one of the wall phones and talk into the other because neither worked completely. I still don't know how he got my number, but he wasn't from the chemical dependency program and had no inclination to get clean and/or sober. He continued to call after he got out and often called in the middle of the night. We talked a few times but never met again. This past week I began receiving collect calls again from the Dallas County Detention Center and knew that he had been thrown back in. I made it clear last night that he should quit calling, that I was unwilling to contact his girlfriend who had blocked his number on her phone, and that I wished him the best of luck even though we have nothing to talk about in the future unless he's interested in getting clean and sober. Hopefully, that's the end of that.

This morning I realized during my first abortive attempt to post that I missed my nutritionist appointment at 8. Hopefully, they can reschedule me sometime this week because I'd like to see if there's been any change. Last time, I was 5% under "normal" body fat, slightly under "normal" lean muscle mass, and slight over "normal" extra cellular mass. I wonder what I have extra of extra in my body besides bones and cartilage. Well, we'll see. Time to go to work. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

:: Kyle 6:37 AM 0 comments
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