:: sweettalk ::

:: Monday, May 05, 2003 ::

God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy Will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy Will always.

Oh, that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would always be with me, and that You would keep me from evil.

Thank You for keeping me sober today. Amen.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t. -- Mark Twain, “Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar,” Ch. 15, Following the Equator

Yesterday morning, I awoke, said my prayers, and sat on my kitchen stoop drinking my coffee and smoking my cigarettes. The day was fairly overcast and gloomy and so was my mood. I blogged, and after a while, I dressed and drove up to Temple Emanu-el to pick up the food for Bryan's House.

Marilyn (aka Barbra) was at the Temple yesterday, and I always enjoy seeing her. She's like a second mother to me, only Jewish. I arrived at Bryan's House and the tall, handsome volunteer was cooking in the kitchen again this month. I remembered him as Brett but he said his name was Brent. He said he also volunteers one day a month, so I expect I'll be seeing him regularly. I don't know anything else about him, but I think he's someone I'd like to know better.

I didn't do much the rest of the day except nap and play some more Civilization III. I did finally plant the bareroot rose before showering and dressing for Birthday Night at Lambda.

The room was decorated beautifully with a big fabric butterfly on the podium and blue skies and clouds and paper lanterns everywhere I looked. Amazingly enough, I only teared up a bit and didn't cry this year when speaking after receiving my eight-year sobriety chip. I thanked Lambda, my family, the men who've sponsored me, the guys in my Rebellion Dogs study group, and the God of my understanding who is constant, unchanging, and infinite. The thing that sticks out about the past year is summed up in a sentence from the Twelve and Twelve: "For those of us who have made progress in AA, humility amounts to a clear recognition of who and what we really are followed by a sincere attempt to become what we could be."

God, You've given me so much recently, but for some reason, I feel melancholy and uninspired. Please allow me to see what You would have me become and please give me the power and courage to do so. Thank You for keeping me sober today and for the past eight years.

:: Kyle 6:02 AM 0 comments
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