:: sweettalk ::

:: Wednesday, May 28, 2003 ::

God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy Will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy Will always.

Oh, that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would always be with me, and that You would keep me from evil.

Thank You for keeping me sober today. Amen.

I grow savager and savager every day, as if fed on raw meat, and my tameness is only the repose of untamableness. I dream of looking abroad summer and winter, with free gaze, from some mountain-side,... to be nature looking into nature with such easy sympathy as the blue-eyed grass in the meadow looks in the face of the sky. From some such recess I would put forth sublime thoughts daily, as the plant puts forth leaves. -- Henry David Thoreau, Letter, July 21, 1841, to Lucy Brown

Yesterday was a fairly busy day at work which was good for me. It seems that the Fixed Asset internal audit from a couple of months back will not die. My manager Doug has been asked to explain the 2002 year-end reconciliation to the CFO of GE Aircraft Engines on Friday, so it's a big deal now. I went through all my old files trying to reassemble the information that we had at that time to send to India for Sriram to complete the reconciliation. We're close, but not there yet.

After work, I came home and was pleasantly surprised to see that the apartment manager had replaced my bedroom air conditioner. It is very nice and cool and quiet in there now. I changed clothes and went outside to begin digging a big hole for one of the "Texas Purple" Japanese wisteria. I worked until it was almost dark, but I did get it planted.

Later, I called Mom and found out she had been in the hospital over the weekend due to bleeding from her colonoscopy last week. She seems fine now, but I'm sure that was a bit scary for her. We talked for a long time about gardening and about Hailee, Brooks, and Grace. She was born to be Grandma.

My Uncle Hal called after that. He had spent ten hours yesterday working in the yard of his new house. I'm so glad he's begun calling again. We're going to have dinner sometime soon at the Black-Eyed Pea. It'll be nice to see him again.

I went to bed tired and slept hard. I dreamt the same dream twice with a slightly different cast of characters from The Princess Bride and Father of the Bride each time. In the first, I was about to marry Kimberly Williams, and in the second, I was about to marry my high school sweetheart Kathy. In both dreams, I was concerned about my ability to consummate the marriage, and in neither was I able to do. Why? Because I'm gay. My equipment just doesn't work that way. Kathy seemed much less concerned about it than was I. Interestingly enough, when I awoke, I no longer felt the longing for a boyfriend, husband, or partner.

It will be a full day today, but a beautiful one.

:: Kyle 6:54 AM 0 comments
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