:: sweettalk ::

:: Sunday, June 29, 2003 ::

joy

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace-
that where there is hatred, I may bring love-
that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness-
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony-
that where there is error, I may bring truth-
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith-
that where there is despair, I may bring hope-
that where there are shadows, I may bring light-
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

Lord, grant that I may seek rather
to comfort than to be comforted-
to understand than to be understood-
to love than to be loved.

For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.

Thank You for keeping me sober today. Amen.

‘Joy is
so special a thing, vivid—’
her love for the earth
returns, her heart lightens,
she savors the crust.
-- Denise Levertov, Joy

What a wonderful past few days. After I last blogged, I met David at the Round-Up for a few twirls around the dance floor. I met his friends cute, cute Phillip who has returned from Palm Springs and Jeremy from San Diego who is on his way to Austin for a final interview. I also saw a couple of guys from gay.com with whom I've chatted. Everyone seemed to be in a particularly good mood because of the U.S. Supreme Court ruling announced that day. I enjoyed dancing and found that I hadn't forgotten how even though it had been quite a while.

Work went well on Friday although I didn't get enough sleep the night before. I finished a couple of projects for Jeremy, ate lunch at Subway, and bought a wedding card at Eckerd for Steph and Scott's party later that night.

I could not wait for five o'clock to arrive. When it did, I stopped by 7-Eleven to put some air in one of my back tires. I had hoped to take a nap before I dressed and went to the wedding party, but before I did, I checked my email. To my surprise, I had received nine very nice and complimentary email responses to the ad I had posted the previous evening on m4m4sex.com. I particularly liked and replied to one of them from Michael who is 46, muscular, HIV+, and lives in my neighborhood.

I arrived Steph and Scott's wedding reception at Marie Gabrielle Restaurants and Gardens around seven-thirty. I dropped off my present, signed in, and saw Steph and Scott near the front door. She looked great, and I must say that was the most beautiful wedding reception I can ever remember attending. The restaurant was wonderfully decorated and lit with chargers, torchieres, and candelabras manufactured by one of my former clients Jan Barboglio.

I went outside to greet my old friends Bob, Jody, Tally, and Matt. We used to hang out a lot in my twenties, but I've not seen as much of them during sobriety. We caught up quickly and enjoyed each other's company very much. Then, Steph called me over to say hello to some of our old high school friends Keri and Laurie and their husbands. I can't remember having a more pleasant evening. The night was cool, the band was entertaining, and the party was classy with a capital "K".

I tried to go to bed fairly early that night so that I'd be ready when Uncle Hal picked me up Saturday morning. He called at 6:45 and arrived around 7:20. We headed to the gym to find that they don't open until eight o'clock on Saturdays, so we headed down to Crossroads Market for some coffee and a smoke. We went back shortly after eight, and he showed me most of his four-day workout program. I'm looking forward to working out again, and Uncle Hal definitely knows what he is doing.

We met my little brother Ross about nine-thirty at Lucky's. and he was not a happy camper because he'd received neither of my phone messages saying we'd be late. He got over it somewhat, and he and Hal talked about his job and his desire to move to Austin or California. I think Uncle Hal will be able to help him, and I'm glad they finally had a chance to meet after hearing me talk about each other for several years.

After breakfast, Hal dropped me off,and I checked out the m4m site and my emails. I ended up chatting with Jim who'd sent an email response to my ad, and he invited me over to his house to take a dip in the pool. He's very nice and handsome and has a beautiful house and backyard. We just laid out on the rafts talking and enjoying the afternoon gradually getting closer and closer. I was very pleased. After I asked if I could give him a kiss, things just progressed from there. He's a great kisser which very few men are. We ended up getting naked outside and having a lot of fun. I can't remember the last time I did that. We ordered a pizza and salad from Pizza Hut and spent the evening just curled up on his couch watching Trading Spaces and laughing. Very nice and affectionate.

I came home around ten o'clock, took my meds, and watered the flowers. I checked my email again and logged back on to m4m. I saw one guy whose pic I'd seen on gay.com. He's 6'5", 43, and very built.

I worked up the nerve to IM him and say hello and tell him that I liked his pic and profile. We chatted a bit and got into a fairly deep conversation about creativity, open-mindedness, and fantasies. When I asked if I could see his face, he replied that he thought I'd recognize him. He emailed me his pic, and I definitely did. He was someone with whom I'd worked briefly at Baby Routh during my twenties and on whom I had a big crush like a high school freshman idolizes a senior. I told him so, and he said he'd had no idea. Of course, he was beginning what was to become an eleven-year relationship at the time.

I was so glad to reconnect with him as it had been over a decade since I'd last seen him. We traded phone numbers so we could keep in touch and discussed what each of us had been doing and talked about our mutual friends Russell and Brent. About midnight, we agreed that I'd go over and spend the night. I told him when we went to bed that I was getting to live out one of my old fantasies. We got naked and curled up and talked before we drifted off to sleep. This morning, we slept later than usual and then had some fun for a while. Later, we went downstairs, had coffee and orange juice, and spent a good two hours talking. What a great guy! I'm so glad to have reconnected, to get to know him better, and to have lived out a fantasy I'd forgotten until now.

This afternoon, I made some coffee and listed to Chopin and Dvorak as I returned phone calls and replied to emails and finished my UTD application. It's been a great few days and a beautiful Sunday. Thank You God.

:: Kyle 1:58 PM 0 comments
...

0 Comments:

Post a Comment