:: sweettalk ::

:: Wednesday, December 31, 2003 ::

comfort

God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy Will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy Will always.

Oh, that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would always be with me, and that You would keep me from evil.

Thank You for keeping me sober today. Amen.

Two loves I have of comfort and despair
Which like two spirits do suggest me still;
The better angel is a man right fair,
The worser spirit a woman, colored ill.
To win me soon to hell, my female evil
Tempteth my better angel from my side,
And would corrupt my saint to be a devil,
Wooing his purity with her foul pride.
And whether that my angel be turned fiend,
Suspect I may, yet not directly tell;
But being both from me; both to each friend,
I guess one angel in another’s hell.
Yet this shall I ne’er know, but live in doubt,
Till my bad angel fire my good one out.
-- William Shakespeare, Two loves I have of comfort and despair

There is a comfort in the strength of love;
‘Twill make a thing endurable, which else
Would overset the brain, or break the heart:
-- William Wordsworth, Michael (l. 448–450)

Our ability to fall in love requires enough comfort with our masculinity to join it with someone’s femininity and feel enhanced. . . . If our mother made us feel secure and proud in our masculinity, then we want to find that again in our wife. If we are really comfortable with our mother, we can even marry a woman who is a friend rather than an adversary, and form a true partnership. -- Frank Pittman, Man Enough

Yesterday was a wonderful day. I emailed Uncle Hal to let him know that Joe and I were meeting for dinner last night and to find out whether or not he still had any intentions on pursuing something with him so I could back off if necessary. He called after I had left for work, gave his blessing, and was actually excited that Joe and I were finally meeting.

I began my new assignment at the Child Care Group and actually accomplished quite a lot yesterday. At lunch, for some reason I turned on my car headlights, and my battery was dead when I left work at the end of the day. Everyone in my department had already gone for the day, my brother had left for New York, my sponsor didn't answer the phone, and I couldn't find a security guard. Luckily, the receptionist's father had jumper cable, and I was able to get my car going. I came home, finished counting the money for Lambda, and showered and dressed for my big date with Joe. We met at The Bronx which was closed until after New Year's, so we drove around a bit and finally went to Cremona Bistro for dinner. It was nice and romantic and I've not felt so at ease with someone in such a long time. He drove me back to my car and we just sat and held hands and kissed a little while before I drove home. He called later to tuck me in. What a wonderful man. As I crawled into bed, I felt a bodily sigh of ease and contentment.

:: Kyle 5:41 AM 0 comments
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