:: sweettalk ::

:: Wednesday, February 25, 2004 ::

living

God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy Will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy Will always.

Oh, that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would always be with me, and that You would keep me from evil.

Thank You for keeping me sober today. Amen.

Living is like working out a long addition sum, and if you make a mistake in the first two totals you will never find the right answer. It means involving oneself in a complicated chain of circumstances. -- Cesare Pavese, The Burning Brand: Diaries 1935-1950, entry for May 5, 1936

Living each day as a preparation for the next is an exciting way to live. Looking forward to something is much more fun than looking back at something—and much more constructive. If we can prepare ourselves so that we never have to think, “Oh, if I had only known, if I had only been ready,” our lives can really be the great adventure we so passionately want them to be. -- Hortense Odlum, A Woman’s Place

Living in cities is an art, and we need the vocabulary of art, of style, to describe the peculiar relationship between man and material that exists in the continual creative play of urban living. The city as we imagine it, then, soft city of illusion, myth, aspiration, and nightmare, is as real, maybe more real, than the hard city one can locate on maps in statistics, in monographs on urban sociology and demography and architecture. -- Jonathan Raban, Soft City

Yesterday was a weird day. I felt so anxious all morning like I was behind or something was going to happen. I plowed through those ambulance billings, though. That became a little depressing in itself as I'm working on January. It seems that more people try to commit suicide or injure themselves that month than the others on which I've worked. Reading the paramedics narratives, I kept coming across the words, "Patient states they don't want to live anymore," and, "Patient states he wants to die." In a way, I can relate to these people, but it seems so, so long ago since I thought of booze and drugs as the answer. It almost seems foreign now or as if I'm remembering another person's life.

Anyway, I worked late and then stopped by Walgreens to pick up some flu medicine and other things. I don't really feel like I have the flu, but something is causing me to tired and drowsy and kind of nauseous, particularly in the afternoon. I just laid on the couch after work and fell asleep about halfway through Judging Amy. I awoke at about one-thirty and could not get back to sleep. I logged online and chatted a little bit with Rob, the Eagle DJ who lives two doors down. He invited me to come down and spoon the rest of the night, and I did. It was very nice and warm and comforting. Now, I've got to head out to my doctor's appointment and the last day at the City of Hurst.

:: Kyle 5:56 AM 0 comments
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