:: sweettalk ::

:: Tuesday, March 02, 2004 ::

loneliness

God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy Will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy Will always.

Oh, that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would always be with me, and that You would keep me from evil.

Thank You for keeping me sober today. Amen.

Man’s loneliness is but his fear of life. -- Eugene O’Neill, Lazarus Laughed, Act 3, Scene 2

A cosmic loneliness was my shadow. -- Zora Neale Hurston, Dust Tracks on a Road

Loneliness is never more cruel than when it is felt in close propinquity with someone who has ceased to communicate. -- Germaine Greer, The Female Eunuch

Oh, what an emotional few days. My numerologist was right last fall. Saturday, I took a nap and then met Rossdog at the Martin Lawrence Galleries at the Galleria for an exhibit and book-signing by his favorite artist, Liudmila Kondakova. Her work is beautiful. I've never seen anyone deal with light the way she does.

We were done in time for me to go see Girl With A Pearl Earring at the Inwood. I loved that movie. The colors in the costumes and sets were gorgeous, and the acting was equally wonderful. One thing I love is the emotional contrast of Scarlett Johansson who plays the main character, Greta. Bearing her burden of being a servant to the Vermeer family, she is emotionless through so much of the movie that when she displays the slightest bit, the impact is great.

I didn't do much after I came home from the movie. I did log on to gay.com and a guy named Sam from New York said hello. We had the best chat. I almost hate it when things like that happen because I'm tired of getting my hopes up. I hope to hear from him again sometime.

Sunday, I awoke early and did absolutely nothing but eat and sleep all day. I felt bad physically, and I experienced the most profound sense of loneliness. I can't remember the last time I felt that way. I was overwhelmed by all I must do in the next month with my midterm exam and packing to move. I felt very alone facing this mountain.

Anyway, I felt much better when I awoke yesterday morning. Work at Miller Brewing Company was good. I was able to accomplish all that needed to be done for month-end close and then began working on entering the internal orders into the budget. Today will be a long day because of all the business warehouse reports I have to run, but I really think I'm going to enjoy this assignment.

Last night, I had my Advanced Regression Analysis class at UTD, and it was fine. The professor gave a review for the exam, and I think I could do okay if I'll buckle down and study the next two weeks.

So, off I go into another day.

:: Kyle 5:49 AM 0 comments
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