:: sweettalk ::
the musings and minutes of the committee meetings in my mind| [::..about..::] |
|---|
| :: age: 41 |
| :: ancestry: english, scottish, irish, german, french |
| :: education: finance, real estate, sociology, economics |
| :: gender: male |
| :: home: dallas |
| :: orientation: gay |
| :: politics: libertarian |
| :: religion: christian |
| :: sign: pisces |
| :: species: homo sapiens |
| :: status: single |
| :: vocation: financial analyst/grad student |
| [::..recommended..::] |
| :: cybertheo |
| :: ethnic lounge |
| :: fate delivers |
| :: my quiet life |
| :: the search for love in manhattan |
| :: truck808 |
| :: usinpeace |
|
| [::..neighbors..::] |
| :: sometimeshappy |
| :: force of mouth |
| :: computer academic underground global headquarters |
| :: no smorking |
| :: serial experiments |
| :: radical wacko |
| :: archipelapogo |
| :: random thoughts from a large head |
| :: brilliant corners |
| :: communications paradigm shift |
| :: evaporated |
| :: prairie point |
| :: unadulterated text |
| :: time runs with an ax |
| :: portia of venice |
|
|
| [::..reading..::] |
| ::
came to believe by alcoholics anonymous |
| ::
twelve steps and twelve traditions by alcoholics anonymous |
| ::
the alchemist by paul coelho |
| ::
dune by frank herbert |
| ::
the death and life of great american cities by jane jacobs |
| ::
wherever you go, there you are by jon kabat-zinn |
| ::
if the buddha dated by charlotte kasl, phd |
| ::
atlas shrugged by ayn rand |
| ::
we the living by ayn rand |
| [::..listening..::] |
| ::
time & tide by basia |
| ::
buena vista social club by buena vista social club |
| ::
born by bond |
| ::
michael buble'
by michael buble' |
| ::
time out
by the dave brubeck quartet |
| ::
dvorak: 3 great symphonies
by antonin dvorak |
| ::
a day without rain
by enya |
| ::
crazyhorse mongoose
by galactic |
| ::
joao voz e violao
by joao gilberto |
| ::
town called earth
by greyboy allstars |
| ::
josh groban
by josh groban |
| ::
synkronized by jamiroquai |
| ::
turnstiles
by billy joel |
| ::
come away with me by norah jones |
| ::
les miserables
by les miserables international cast |
| ::
solo para ti by ottmar liebert |
| ::
the best of matt bianco by matt bianco |
| ::
listen without prejudice
by george michael |
| ::
trickle by olive |
| ::
piano concerto no. 1/ rhapsody on a theme of paganini by sergey rachmaninov |
| ::
wish by joshua redman |
| ::
what's new by linda ronstadt & the nelson riddle orchestra |
| ::
seal by seal |
| ::
duncan sheik by duncan sheik |
| ::
...all this time
by sting |
| ::
mercury falling
by sting |
| ::
under the covers
by dwight yoakam |
| [::..links..::] |
| :: all consuming |
| :: biz stone, genius |
| :: blo.gs |
| :: blogdex |
| :: blog matcher |
| :: dive into mark |
| :: extreme tracking |
| :: globe of blogs |
| :: technorati link cosmos |
| :: weblogs |
| [::..archive..::] |
:: Thursday, May 06, 2004 ::
habit
God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy Will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy Will always.
Oh, that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would always be with me, and that You would keep me from evil.
Thank You for keeping me sober today. Amen.
Habit is a second nature that destroys the first. But what is nature? Why is habit not natural? I am very much afraid that nature itself is only a first habit, just as habit is a second nature. -- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, No. 126
Habit! that skillful but slow arranger, which starts out by letting our spirit suffer for weeks in a temporary state, but that the spirit is after all happy to discover, for without habit and reduced to its own resources, the spirit would be unable to make any lodgings seem habitable. -- Marcel Proust, Nouvelle Revue Française
Habit is the ballast that chains a dog to his vomit. -- Samuel Beckett, Proust
I want my energy back. Yesterday at work, I finished re-accruing all the year-end accruals that didn't come through in April. After that, I had a difficult time getting motivated to do anything. I spent some of the afternoon pulling together the backup for the journal entries and reading the news on the Internet.
After work, I swung by Lambda to deliver some more deposit envelopes and then came home. I couldn't find where I'd packed Civilization III, so I pulled out SimCity 3000 and tried playing it for a while but got bored. I finally just laid down in bed. I discussed the Fourth Step with my sponsee who called, and then just watched TV the rest of the evening.
I awoke early this morning at five o'clock with the television still on. Perhaps that's why I'm not sleeping well. I turned it off and went back to sleep. When I awoke again, I was in the middle of thinking why I smoked. I could not come up with a good reason. It's just habit. I don't even really enjoy it anymore. I can't smell it or taste it. I can definitely feel it when I smoke too much. Perhaps it's finally time to quit again. We'll see.
:: Kyle 5:17 AM 0 comments
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