:: sweettalk ::

:: Thursday, January 01, 2004 ::

resolve

God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy Will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy Will always.

Oh, that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would always be with me, and that You would keep me from evil.

Thank You for keeping me sober today. Amen.

Resolve not to be poor: whatever you have, spend less. Poverty is a great enemy to human happiness; it certainly destroys liberty, and it makes some virtues impracticable, and others extremely difficult. -- Samuel Johnson, Letter, December 7, 1782, to James Boswell

Resolve to be honest at all events; and if in your own judgment you cannot be an honest lawyer, resolve to be honest without being a lawyer. Choose some other occupation, rather than one in the choosing of which you do, in advance, consent to be a knave. -- Abraham Lincoln, Fragment, notes for a law lecture, July 1, 1850

Resolve to be thyself; and know, that he Who finds himself, loses his misery. -- Matthew Arnold, Self-Dependence

I love the new year. It's such a time to throw out the old and begin anew.

Yesterday morning, I received both an email and a phone call from Joe before I went to work. I was able to get all the journal entries copied that I needed to reconcile two of the three remaining A/P accounts at work. During lunch, I deposited most of the December cash for my AA group and dropped off a check and paperwork for the group's new commercial liability and business owner's insurance.

After work, I came home and relaxed, finished off the hot cheese rolls and crackers, and freshened up to head out to celebrate New Year's Eve at my friends Scott and Theo's house. I was so thankful they were having a party because I was feeling a bit antsy for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I had an uneasy feeling that something like a terrorist attack might happen, and I worried about my baby brother Ross being in New York. Secondly, I already missed Joe and wished I could be with him last night. I am definitely heading toward limerance again, but I can't tell if I feel like I'm in love with him or the idea of him. All I know is I want to be close to him. God, please help me enjoy things as they are, remain in the present, and keep my perspective.

At the party, Theo asked us to write down our resolutions and put them in an urn. Afterwards, we each drew out a piece of paper and read them aloud for the group to guess who made them. I'd not thought of any beforehand, so here's what I wrote:

* I resolve to think more often of others than myself.

* I resolve to have a date on New Year's Eve 2004.

* I resolve to attempt something completely new.

Theo was pretty good at guessing which ones were mine, but we never figured out who had resolved to get laid by every guy at the party. I made it until midnight when we all hugged and blew our horns and welcomed in the new year. I returned home to find a voicemail message from Joe who called shortly after midnight but had already gone to bed. I can't wait to hear from him and see him today.

Last night and this morning, I thought of some other resolutions I'd like to make. Here they are:

* I resolve to improve my conscious contact with the God of my understanding through daily prayer and meditation.

* I resolve to look for opportunities to be of service to others.

* I resolve to exercise three times a week in 2004.

* I resolve to have Lasik surgery in 2004 and be done with my glasses.

* I resolve to weigh at least 170 pounds by the end of 2004.

* I resolve to have a 43" chest, a 31" waist, and 15" arms by the end of 2004.

* I resolve to complete the Certificate in the Quantitative Analysis of Social and Economic Data with a 4.0 GPA in 2004.

* I resolve to successfully pass the GRE and to apply and be accepted to an advanced degree program in 2004.

* I resolve to learn a foreign language in 2004.

* I resolve to pay off all debt on my Capital One, CITGO, Household Bank, Sears, and Target Visa cards by the end of 2004.

* I resolve to begin tithing by the end of 2004.

* I resolve to save more for retirement in 2004.

* I resolve to buy my first home in 2004. (This one makes me a little nervous)

* I resolve to increase my income in 2004.

* I resolve to answer and return all phone calls in 2004.

* I resolve to call and make plans with at least one friend a week in 2004.

* I resolve to approach and begin a conversation in person with at three attractive men I don't know in 2004.

* I resolve to ask at least three attractive men out on a date in 2004.

* I resolve to blog every day in 2004.

* I resolve to write a new poem in 2004.

* I resolve to do something artistic and creative at least once a month in 2004.

* I resolve to cook more often for myself and others in 2004.

* I resolve to have a party in my home in 2004.

* I resolve to end 2004 happy, joyous, free, and sober.

There they are. I need to remember that it's spiritual progress, not perfection, that matters, but all these resolutions are definitely possible. All I need now is to take action. Happy New Year everyone!

:: Kyle 6:26 AM 0 comments
...

0 Comments:

Post a Comment