:: sweettalk ::

:: Monday, January 05, 2004 ::

rest

God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy Will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy Will always.

Oh, that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would always be with me, and that You would keep me from evil.

Thank You for keeping me sober today. Amen.

Sleep, nature’s rest, divine tranquillity,
That brings peace to the mind and chases far
All care; that soothes our breasts by daily toil
Over-wearied, and prepares for labor new.
-- Ovid, Metamorphoses

Sleep is a reconciling,
A rest that peace begets.
-- Unknown, Weep You No More, Sad Fountains

We must rest here, for this is where the teacher comes. On his desk stands a vase of tears. -- John Ashbery, “And You Know”

Yesterday was a day to rest and relax. I awoke rather early and emailed Joe about the dream I was having. I didn't know what it's about, but there were all these sitcom families like Dick Van Dyke's moving from one home to another and in each case the mother's mother lived just a couple of houses down. I think one of the neighborhoods was in the middle of some kind of amusement park, too. I remember there being lots of big trees in one and something about notifying people that they had to move and not being sure whether or not the old people in the houses were still alive because nobody had seem them in a while and their cars hadn't moved. Very bizarre.

Still, I awoke thinking of Joe. He is very easy to be with and very considerate. I enjoy being next to him very much. I just wanted him to know that he needn't apologize to me or prepare me for anything -- the way hes dressed, his truck being messy, or talking about what's ailing him. I understand because I tend to do the same thing, or at least I used to, but I don't as much anymore. Kind of like what Kimberly had told him about me, what you see is what you get, for better or worse.

Still, and this could just be my imagination, but I feel like he may have reservations about something like he is afraid, perhaps of being hurt or perhaps of hurting me. I don't know. I tend to dismiss these kind of hunches and give people the benefit of the doubt because I can't read people's minds, but with him, I thought I'd say something. I just wanted him to know that I think he's a very fine, admirable, and attractive man and that I appreciate all the time he's given me this past week particularly in light of the fact that he's still recuperating. Enough said.

On Friday, Mike and Bruce had asked if I would share my story at Sunday Morning Live. I had little time to prepare or worry, but it's my story, so it's kind of hard to mess that up. It went fine, and there were plenty of friendly faces in the room, but I felt a little scattered and kept forgetting things, so I had to backtrack a couple of times. Anyway, I made it through and several people came up afterwards to thank me and to tell me what they had gotten out of it.

When I arrived home, my Realtor David had called to say he'd prefer to reschedule our meeting to go look at houses and condos since it was cold and wet outside and he was on the verge of getting sick. I called my sponsee Charlie to schedule our dinner meeting to go over Step Two and called Joe to let him know we weren't going to look at houses that day. Then I settled down in bed to read more of The Jesus Incident by Frank Herbert. I ended up taking a little nap as well.

Later, Charlie and I met at the Black-Eyed Pea for dinner and caught up and completed Step Two. I decided not to go to Birthday Night at Lambda and instead came back home to read and relax. My friend Tom W called and asked if I could meet him for coffee, but I declined since I was already in bed and waiting for Joe's call. He had received his twelve-year chip last night, and Tom M had received his new one-year chip. We talked for a while, and I called Tom M later to congratulate him. A very good day indeed.

:: Kyle 5:07 AM 0 comments
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